Why Holiday Family Arguments Might Finally Get You Talking About Your Estate Plan
The Holidays Bring More Than Just Leftovers
The holidays are supposed to be about joy, food, and time together. But for many families, they also bring tension to the surface.
A recent national survey by Trust & Will found that nearly 40 percent of families experience open disagreements during holiday gatherings. These arguments often start over everyday topics like politics, finances, or old family issues. But what’s surprising is what happens after those disagreements.
For many families, holiday tension becomes the moment they finally start thinking seriously about estate planning.
Why Holiday Gatherings Trigger Estate Planning Thoughts
According to the survey, the most common topics that spark holiday conflict include:
• Politics
• Family dynamics and past grievances
• Relationships
• Finances
While only a small number of families say estate planning itself causes arguments, these other topics often point to deeper concerns. Questions about fairness, responsibility, and the future tend to come up, even if no one says the words “will” or “trust” out loud.
In California especially, where property, finances, and family structures can be complex, these unspoken questions matter.
Holiday Arguments Often Lead to Estate Plan Changes
Here’s one of the most important findings from the survey:
Nearly 20 percent of respondents said a holiday family conflict led someone in their family to revisit or adjust their estate plan.
That means one in five families realized something was missing, unclear, or outdated after a holiday gathering.
Sometimes these moments reveal:
• No one knows who makes decisions in an emergency
• There is confusion about inheritance
• Family members have different expectations
• Important wishes were never written down
Holiday stress doesn’t cause these problems — it simply brings them into the open.
In fact, not planning often leads to:
• Confusion during emergencies
• Family disagreements after a loss
• Probate delays in California courts
• Stress during an already emotional time
Estate planning is not about expecting the worst. It’s about protecting your family when life changes, which it eventually does.
How the Holidays Can Be a Gentle Starting Point
You don’t need to turn holiday dinner into a legal meeting. Simple conversations are enough.
Here are easy, low-pressure ways families can begin:
• “Have you ever looked at your will or trust recently?”
• “If something unexpected happened, who would you want to help?”
• “Is there anything important you want us to know?”
These questions open the door without forcing decisions on the spot.
Often, the holidays are the only time families are together in one place. That makes them a natural time to start thinking about the future.
This Isn’t About Money: It’s About Peace of Mind
Estate planning isn’t just for wealthy families. In California, it helps families:
• Avoid unnecessary court involvement
• Protect children and loved ones
• Make health care wishes clear
• Reduce stress during difficult moments
A good estate plan gives families clarity. It also helps prevent the kind of arguments that often start around holiday tables.
Inspired By
This article was inspired by research showing that family disagreements during the holidays often prompt people to finally address estate planning.
A Simple Gift You Can Give Your Family
If the holidays have made you think about your family’s future, that’s a good thing.
Estate planning is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give — not just during the holidays, but all year long.
If you have questions, or if your family has never had these conversations before, Nickerson Law is here to help.
Have questions about wills, trusts, or planning for loved ones? Ask us. We’re happy to help.
Peace of mind is something every family deserves, especially during the holidays.